You have ten thousand instructors in Christ, but you do not have many fathers, for in Jesus Christ I have given birth to you through the gospel. Therefore I beg you to be followers of me (1 Cor. 4.15-16)
Notice there are two different kinds of ministries in this verse: instructors and fathers. Notice there are many, many, many, many, many instructors and very few fathers. Only a father gets to tell people – follow me.
I have learned many Scriptures from many instructors, I am studying the Word all the time. But I have very few people I would call a father. As a pastor, for everyone in your church you are their instructor. but you will not be everyone’s father.
Sadly, the idea of a spiritual father has been abused so much, it is hard to talk about freely, because of the baggage it creates. We had a lady in our church, she had a spiritual father. They never spoke, but she had a certificate that he was her spiritual father, it only cost her $800. That’s insane.
But according to the Scripture above, there is a place for having a spiritual father, someone who is much more than an instructor. You listen to instructors, you follow and copy fathers. I am in actuality the father of the Tree of Life Family, but only some receive me as a father, others do not. If I am received as a father, there is a reward to that that is far greater than if people receive me as an instructor, but people are free to make that choice themselves. As a pastor you are called to be a father to the people in your church, but some will only treat you like an instructor, and that is up to them.
The problem comes when you as a pastor treat people who do not treat you as a father as your sons.
What do I mean by this? Well, there are people who were raised up in Tree of Life as a ministry. I mean without Tree of Life they would not be in ministry. Without me, they would not be in ministry. They were doing nothing when they met me, and now they are ministering and serving and are platformed and recognized. They are birthed in Tree of Life – like Paul I can say “I gave birth to you through good news”. But they do not ask me questions about ministry, they do not go to me for advice, they go to some other pastor, or some travelling preacher. They do not go to Gates of the City, they go to another conference of their own choosing. Now – like I said – that’s up to them. But if I appoint those people as pastors, or even elders, if I promote them, if I treat them as sons but they are not treating me as a father, then Tree of Life Family is going to fall apart.
You can have 10000 instructors, you can go to every conference you want, you can listen to preaching all day, and that will actually make you a better Christian. But you are called to honour your father, and if you are honouring some preacher in America that has not promoted you, loved you, given you opportunities, that does not pay your salary, that does not give you exposure, that has not birthed you, then you are going to end up very confused.
You see if someone in your church honours a travelling speaker above you – then if you promote them, maybe give them a weekly Living Church (House Group, Life Group, Bible study, whatever you call it) to run, then trust me they will end up running it the way that other minister would, not the way you would.
I don’t know my actual biological father, some of you might be in the same place. Some of you might have a stepfather or two, some of you might be adopted, but there is no one who has 10000 fathers in the natural. You can go to school and have 20 teachers, but you cannot go to a family and have 20 fathers. You need to realize this.
How can you as a pastor tell who is treating you as their father?
- They listen to you when they don’t have to. They ask you about a sermon you preached three years ago, because they listened to it on the app. They drive 100 miles to see you at a conference because they love you. If they miss a Sunday, they have listened to the message before Tuesday!
- They are more excited about you preaching than the guest speaker at the same conference. They are not the person who never asks you anything about ministry, then when a guest speaker comes asks them 100 questions, gets them to pray for them and then brags to you that they got them to pray for them!
- They put your revelation first. They won’t be missing Sunday morning because Bible College on Saturday was just too intense. They won’t be at another church to hear some guest speaker. They won’t be giving huge offerings to other ministries and not even tithing to the local church. They will honour you.
- Finally, spiritual sons defend you. It’s a wonderful thing to see and experience. But if someone comes at you, they won’t be listening to them, they won’t be trying to find out what the drama is, they just instinctively know that this is my father, and if you come at my father, you come at me.
Recently, there was a couple that came at me, and they still do regular online meetings, during which they have lied about me, mocked me, and even mocked my family. My spiritual sons from the moment that happened stopped listening to that rubbish instantly, they told me instantly, and they defended me. There are people still listen to their online services who still think I am a good instructor and love my preaching and teaching ministry. They are not my sons though, they do not see me as a father. I am just one of ten thousand to them, which is fine as long as I know that.
When Robert Maasbach, my spiritual father, was attacked and lied about by another ministry, I cut off all contact with that minister instantly. I am not playing games, I know family, and I know if I don’t honour my father, I will not live long and strong on the earth. Robert has told me that so many have not been that strong, but our relationship is on a higher level. Why will Robert build his schedule around ministering for me? Sonship. It’s a different relationship on both sides. It doesn’t have to be, and there are many teachers who I love as teachers, but the problem is when it is not on both sides!
All I can do in these situations what Paul did – point out the huge role I have played in their lives and beg them to follow me and not someone else who clearly does not love them.
Pastor, in your church right now, are many who see you as just an instructor. They would change to another church tomorrow if they thought they could find a better instructor than you. They would certainly move if they thought they could get a better deal elsewhere. They perceive church as a college or school, and if they can get better qualified elsewhere, they will go there, because their ambition in life is to get qualified and start making a name for themselves.
But there are also those who see themselves as sons, they perceive church to be family, they know that the way to build their name is to build your name, because in family, it’s the same name. They are not just learners, they are followers. Those are the people you need to concentrate on, develop and raise up as leaders. Not the people who want to pray the way teacher X said, who buy you the shirts of the preachers they want you to look like, and keep posting you the videos of the preachers they want you to sound like.
Selah!
PS. Paul also said “follow me, as I follow Christ” (1 Cor. 11.1). You should be loyal to your spiritual fathers, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump off a cliff if they do. One of my spiritual fathers when I was a new Christian, the man who taught me to cast out demons and flow in the gifts, committed sexual immorality so bad he was arrested for it. I still have fond memories and I am still grateful for what he taught me, he for a season was my father, but I am not going to follow him to jail you understand! To not have the freedom to back off when someone does something crazy is not godly. I am not talking about doing something slightly differently from how you would, in those cases, shut up and learn something, I am talking about gross sin and false doctrine.
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