The Number One Quality for Leadership 02: There Are Steps to Stabbing Someone in the Back

When Judas betrayed Jesus to the Romans, that wasn’t a one off event that just came out of nowhere. It was the end result of a process that in my experience is exceptionally predictable. For those of you in leadership, you might not be able to stop someone taking these steps but you can see it coming and help yourself and your people handle it.

Every leader should be aware that a dagger in your back does not come out of nowhere, and you can see certain actions and steps and think… That person is not as loyal, as faithful, as on fire as they used to be. They are not able to betray you with a kiss tomorrow but they are on the way!

There are two very simple reasons why you must understand disloyalty is a slow process. Firstly, so you can see it coming when someone is being disloyal to you. But secondly, if you are serving a larger ministry or business than yourself, you can spot the devil and your flesh leading you down the process of being disloyal so you can head it off at the pass and avoid totally ruining your own life. Being disloyal will stab the other person in the back and hurt them, but it will hurt you more.

I have seen many pastors recover from a stab in the back, but I have seen very few of the people who did the stabbing recover. And those that did, it took a long time and in these perilous times, you cannot afford to take that kind of time off!

David had already dealt with disloyal with Absalom. Absalom was upset with David and started leading people away from him. But David having the heart after God he had did not want to destroy Absalom but restore him. He told his men not to kill Absalom. But then David had further disloyalty when Joab killed Absalom.

Disloyal people do things their way in your name and that will mess up any ministry. You need to become aware of the steps. In my next post, I will sum up all the five main steps.

But until now, just think about yourself. Are you disloyal to who God has placed you with? Are you doing things your way, even though there is no moral imperative to, other than you like your own way. Are you handling Absalom the way you want to or the way David told you to? Are you walking down a path that might hurt a ministry, church or business, and more importantly destroy you? If so, time to be found faithful, repent and do whatever you can to be full of faith – faithful.


Published by Tree of Life Church

We are a growing network of growing churches, with services weekly in Dagenham, Guildford, Watford, Croydon, Brentwood and Dorset. We are also planting churches in Cambridge, Suffolk, West Midlands and Hemel. Find out more at, and

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: