Your Peers Are Not Good Enough

Rehoboam although related to the wisest man alive at the time decided to reject the advice of his father’s generation and exclusively listened to his peers. The problem was his peers were too rough and hard, and Rehoboam needed to be tempered by the voice of wisdom.

It concerns me to see so many of my generation looking only to their peers, and rejecting the experience and wisdom of my father’s generation. I haven’t done everything right, but I have sought out those who have gone before and asked their counsel.

Recently, one man of God said to me “Ben, I don’t want to influence your decisions”, and I said “I want you to influence my decisions, that makes my decisions better”.

Let me tell you three reasons why you need to listen to your father’s generation.

1. There is nothing new under the sun. Recently, we had to deal with some very strange doctrines in our church, things like universalism and inclusionism. To me they were new doctrines, but to a couple of men in my father’s generation, they had been an issue in the 50s and 80s. They knew how to handle things because life is seasonal. Things repeat. History repeats. Find someone who has loved through more than one generation, and learn from them.

2. The temptation of youth is to be too harsh with people. That’s what attracted Solomon to the counsel of his peers. You don’t realise you win more flies with honey. Just being around seasoned ministers all of them have a gentleness, a humility, a graciousness that you cannot learn. It can only be caught. And I am glad to be infected.

3. Your peers are as foolhardy as you. Get too much of that in the same room and you write every else off as being too old, too jealous, too foolish, too over the hill, not passionate enough. The joy of youth is enthusiasm, the joy of age is wisdom, and both need each other.


Published by Tree of Life Church

We are a growing network of growing churches, with services weekly in Dagenham, Guildford, Watford, Croydon, Brentwood and Dorset. We are also planting churches in Cambridge, Suffolk, West Midlands and Hemel. Find out more at, and

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