How to Make People Better Leaders 22 Love People Enough to Confront People

It’s hard work to reward people for good behaviour. Well done for starting another two churches, here is a payrise. Well done for ushering so well, here is a card. Well done for forgiving that person, let me praise you. It takes energy and effort and time, but it is fairly easy.

Confronting bad behaviour is much harder. Most of us know there is a chance that we will be disliked, rejected, upset someone, even make them angry and no one wants to do that.

But here is a principle that I have found is ABSOLUTE AND TOTAL TRUTH. This principle cannot and will never be broken. Have I made it clear that this principle is invioable? It truly is. Read it carefully: Not confronting bad behaviour will always make things worse.

The whole church (or business) will suffer because there is someone in it not behaving well, with the best interest of the whole church in their heart. Secondly, you will suffer. You will be less effective if a leader you have raised up is lying, gossiping, failing to represent and reflect you and your intentions, coming with their own agenda and so on. Finally, and most importantly, by you as the leader of leaders failing to confront someone you are a thief. Yes, you are. You are stealing an opportunity for someone to repent, grow and get on track at a crucial part of their life! Do not be a thief – be the opportunity someon needs.

Gently, in love, let that person know what they are doing or failing to do that means they are not helping themselves or the church.

The main reason we do not confront is pure selfishness, we are more concerned about being disliked than the whole church being healthy. And confrontation is not always bad, often it leads to change, and the person grows and we grow and it’s awesome. But you must do it right – which will be the subject of next week’s post, but right now – the key is simple – it must be done!

Published by Tree of Life Church

We are a growing network of growing churches, with services weekly in Dagenham, Guildford, Watford, Croydon, Brentwood and Dorset. We are also planting churches in Cambridge, Suffolk, West Midlands and Hemel. Find out more at, and

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