Spiritual Fathers 06 -Where Are the Sons?

We have been speaking about spiritual fathers in the church for the last few weeks, and it has been beneficial teaching.  One thing I find is that many people in the church are wondering why there are so few fathers in the body of Christ.  Many people have the heart’s cry “where are the fathers?”

That’s not my experience.  When I have needed a spiritual father, they have *always* manifest.  Always.  Without a fail.  I have some of the greatest men of God in the world take time out of their busy schedules to ask me how I am doing and speak life and wisdom into my life.  Now I don’t have many fathers, just a few – like Paul promised – but they are there, and they do love me like a father and I have always been fathered since my early days as a Christian.

So – what is going on here?  I spent a lot of time a few years ago asking God about it.  A lot of people seem very envious of me and the favour I have experienced, and I am not upset about that, I just want everyone to have the great experience of having great spiritual fathers that I have had.

And after praying and fasting and seeking the wisdom of the Lord, it became so obvious and clear to me that the problem isn’t that there is a lack of fathers.  The problem is a lack of sons!

Let me say this in a different way to help you grasp what I am saying:

Most Christians behave like they are vice-presidents in a cut throat business, rather than sons in the house of God.

Most Christians don’t act like sons.  So they cannot attract a spiritual father.  It’s not that there is a lack of fathers, there is a lack of sons!

If you need a spiritual father to speak into your life, to help you develop, to help you move forward, then you need to learn how to behave like a son.

We will talk about this in the next few weeks, but today you need to consider yourself and your ways.  If you do not have people in your life fathering you and nurturing you, you have failed to act in a way to draw them and recognize them and honour them.  Only what you honour can bring life to you.

Here is a quick check list for you to think about:

  1.  How long do I hang around?  It takes time to build a father-son relationship, and church hoppers don’t have that time.  They get upset at every little thing, storm off and find a new place.  They never behave like sons, and never draw a father to them.  Stability is your first key.  Go where the Lord says and don’t let people talk you out of it.
  2. Do you keep your mouth shut?  If you want to be in someone’s family, you don’t talk about them outside of the family.  A lot of people have no access to my life any more because they do not honour my privacy.
  3. Do you match heart and mouth?  Jesus told the Pharisees that their hearts and mouths were mismatched.  I’ve seen many people like that today.  Their mouths speak a good game, but they don’t live it.
  4. Can you even handle someone speaking into your life?  A lot of people won’t take good advice.  I remember one guy who wanted me to help him in ministry but would not listen to a word I said.  I can’t help someone like that!  Then he accused me of being unable to communicate.  One day I pray he will find out how to listen to someone and get helped into a great ministry.

Like I said, we will continue this discussion in the coming weeks, but right now realize its not a father issue – the issue is are you a son?  Are you behaving like a son?

Grace and peace,



Published by Tree of Life Church

We are a growing network of growing churches, with services weekly in Dagenham, Guildford, Watford, Croydon, Brentwood and Dorset. We are also planting churches in Cambridge, Suffolk, West Midlands and Hemel. Find out more at www.tree.church, www.tree.church/youtube and www.tree.church/app.

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