1 Cor. 15.33 is very clear: do not be deceived, evil company corrupts good habits. As a pastor, you have to be careful of the company you keep. There is definitely a time we need to minister to people, but there is also a time in which we need to fellowship with the wise, we need to not associate with the foolish.
If you hang around the wrong people for a long time, it will corrupt you. Happy Caldwell, once, at a pastor’s conference I was at, asked everyone, would you carry a poisonous snake in your pocket, hoping it would change? The answer is no, and we should not be fellowshipping with immoral people – even if you think you would change them. If they want to change, they know where you are!
When the hand wrote on the wall in the wild, evil, Babylonian party, Daniel was not at the party, he was at home with the Lord. But they knew who to call and called him!
Every pastor reading this has had a lady tell them they are planning to marry a non-Christian man (or a man who is just casual about the things of God) and you have said as kindly as you could to maybe think twice about it, and you were told “I will change him when we get married”, and you know that will never happen. It’s the same when you hang around a crowd of sinners hoping to change them. It won’t happen like that.
For the last month in our Dagenham church, I have been teaching about powers that every Christian has – the power to perceive, the power to give, the power to prepare and the power to receive God’s Word.
But today, I want to talk about a super-power that is available to every pastor. If you use this superpower, you will free up time, you will bring life to your congregation, peace to your soul and strength in life.
I call this the power of withdrawal, and this power is given to us by Paul in the second letter to the Thessalonians. Before you read this Scripture, remind yourself that you are a Bible believer, and if you read something in the Scripture you will believe it, receive it, declare it and do it.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us. (2 Thess. 3.6 NIV)
Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us. (2 Thess. 3.6 KJV)
Now we command you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from every brother or sister who leads a disorderly life and not one in accordance with the tradition which you received from us. (2 Thess. 3.6 NASB)
As you can see, Paul’s instruction is clear – if someone is living a disorderly life, is idle, disruptive, and out of order with what you are doing in the church, you are supposed to withdraw from that Christian and keep away from them.
There is so much pain in many pastor’s lives because they ignore this Scripture and think they are better and smarter than Paul, and ignore his wise advice. Let me tell you, after planting eleven churches, running a family of churches, I know Paul’s advice is wise. Withdraw yourself from those who are out of order! It’s a superpower that will honestly lift your life and the life of your churches to a whole new level.
The Word of God says you should not even have lunch with people in sexual immorality (1 Cor 5.11). This is talking about Christians, not the world, otherwise you would never be able to have lunch with non-Christians ever! At this point someone might say, but that might make them feel outcast or shame. That’s the point! Now, if someone is new to the faith, and growing, you can minister to them and tell them the truth of God’s Word. If they continue to walk in their path of immorality and are out of order, you are to withdraw.
If someone is misbehaving around you, playing up, causing strife in the church, you have no obligation to come running when they call! Notice the NIV calls these people idle, which means they are doing nothing. Because they are doing nothing, they have the time to be disruptive.
None of you would carry a poisonous scorpion around in their pocket, so why are we as pastors going out of our way to spend time with and associate with scorpion people? It’s often an overconfidence that we will change their minds – no you won’t. It is the same principle as the young girl who is dating a non-Christian expecting she will change him, but it won’t happen that way.
Later Paul tells us not to hate these people as enemies, but warn them as brothers. When they ask, why have you withdrawn from me pastor? You have to in love tell them that until they stop being idle, stop being disruptive, stop being out of order, you have nothing to say to them.
I have found a strange thing that often these disruptive people will leave the church and you are no longer their pastor, but they will want to suddenly be your mate, they want to go out for dinner, to text you banal platitudes and be friends. But you were never called to be their friend and you are not their peer, you are just coming down to a lower level and spending time with a rebel. It won’t end well. You might feel very kind and loving, but that is not what is going on. You are ignoring God’s principles and it will not end well. We are not to fellowship with the idle, the disruptive and those whose lives are out of order as if there is nothing wrong. If you do, there will be no holiness in your church, no fear of the Lord, you will no longer have the time to minister to those you are called to, the sheep that hear your voice.
Discussing this in 1 Cor. 5, Paul says in v.13 that it is on us as pastors to “put away the evil from among you”. That is a quote from Deut. 24.7 and it refers in the Old Testament to capital punishment. Now Paul knows that we are under grace and do not stone people to death for their sin or disruptions, but let us be clear – the covenant of grace does not mean close your eyes when people are sinning, especially when it disrupts church and hurts other Christians.
This is not being judgmental, this is being godly. We are not playing judge and jury of someone’s life out of some personal fiat – we are pastors keeping the church clean. Go and ask for wisdom and outline the situation to a more experienced pastor if you need to, but if the church does not through the pastoral leaders, put the evil out, and if pastors we do not withdraw from those people Paul has told us to withdraw from, the church will never succeed in its kingdom mission.
9 But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. 10 For if others see you—with your “superior knowledge”—eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? 11 So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer[b] for whom Christ died will be destroyed. 12 And when you sin against other believers[c] by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. 13 So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble. (1 Cor. 8.9-13 NLT)
Paul says here, and rather clearly, that if someone around you does not have the faith or clarity of conscience to be able to eat the food you are eating, then do not eat it in front of them. Go without. You never want to be in a position where you have the burden of causing someone else to stumble and miss it.
Paul said I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble. In Romans 14.13 he says “decide never to put a stumbling block in the way of a brother”. It means never do something that gets in the way of someone growing in Christ.
So, what is that talking about. Firstly, you have to be doing something that isn’t wrong. The context is that some Christians are stronger than others. And those that are stronger – and hopefully as the pastors we are among some of the strongest saints in the church – must treat those who are weaker with dignity and compassion.
Often weaker Christians see things as wrong that are not wrong. When I first became a Christian, in Scotland, there were some Christians in the church that believed that playing cards was wrong. It’s obviously not, but they believed it was. They believed that to play cards was inherently sinful. So, I would never suggest playing cards with those people or I would become a stumbling block. Today, some of the biggest stumbling blocks in the church are alcohol, eating meat, TV, films, computer games, certain styles of clothing, certain types of music. So, if they upset someone, just cut it out of your life when they are around. Play cards in your house if you like it, but not in the church, not in their house! I hope you can see this is not deceptive, it is wise.
I recently took some pastors out for dinner and we all had a meal of a certain animal, and I told the pastors not to put this on social media because I know some people in our church would have been stumbling over that. This is what I am talking about.
The stumbling block is you doing something that isn’t wrong, but because someone else is grieved by it. In Romans 14.15 Paul says if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are not walking in love by your eating. So, it’s not a mature Christian that goes “well, you can eat that, but I can’t, but we are both free in Christ”, this is the weaker Christian that is really cut by it. They are really upset. When that happens you have become the stumbling block.
Now, there are some people who will say they are upset by anything just to control you, and so you need to learn wisdom and discernment. But if someone is genuinely upset, you must not be their stumbling block. It might not be wrong for you to, it does not distract from your walk with Christ at all, but it might be an upset to others.
What will happen is that the weaker brother will copy you – not out of revelation but because you are the pastor – and as they copy you they will sin against their own conscience. They haven’t been persuaded from the Word, they are just copying you, and that’s not enough to resist guilt and condemnation after doing it.
You are strong enough to step over this issue, but they stumble over it and fall. Romans 14.23 says if you eat doubting, you will be condemned as you eat. They will go away feeling guilty for what they did and their fellowship with God will be damaged, and it is on you as the pastor for causing them to stumble. Do not do that!
Everything you do should be based on Jesus. Want to start an outreach ministry? Go and sit down and read the gospels and look at how Jesus did it. Want to operate in signs and wonders? Go and sit down and read the gospels and look at how Jesus did it. Want to gather a crowd? Go and sit down and read the gospels and look at how Jesus did it. Need to deal with someone in your church having problems? Go and sit down and read the gospels and look at how Jesus did it. Dealing with sickness? Go and sit down and read the gospels and look at how Jesus did it. Dealing with someone who has a demon? Go and sit down and read the gospels and look at how Jesus did it.
When I was a youth pastor, I was leading a youth camp with my wife, and we found out one of the young teenage girls was self-harming. We called her parents and they took her home. She was livid at us and screamed at us “I thought you were supposed to be my friends”. I said “you have many friends, but we are your pastors”. Sometimes pastors try and be the friends of their church members, and it doesn’t always end well.
I am not saying be unfriendly, I am not saying hide yourself away, fly in and preach and fly out. There is a ditch on both sides of the road here – you are supposed to be the pastor, you are supposed to command some honour and respect, but you are not supposed to be nasty, mean, selfish and foolish. You do not say “you better respect me or else” – but you live in a way that brings respect. People in your church have loads of friends, but you are the one who feeds them, teaches them, preaches to them, brings life and power and the gifts to them, ministers to them, equips them, lifts them, and pastors them.
You cannot go around everyone’s house just to have dinner with them or a nice cup of tea. It does not work – they will sit there and tell you everything wrong with you, your wife and the whole church. They will tell you all the things you should be doing. There is a distance that needs maintained.
You know the pastor does not have to stand around after church and shake everyone’s hand. Let me tell you a secret – no one at the end of the church wants to shake your hand and say thank you for that awesome, wonderful, glorious message. They want to go home and eat their lunch The people who will queue to meet you on Sunday are much more likely to preach to you than thank you for preaching to them.
Of course as a pastor, you fellowship with your congregation, you bless them – but your ministry is not measured by how well you visit people and have tea with them, it is measured by how well you preach, teach and equip them to minister. It is measured by the good food you feed them.
I have noticed the ones that want your one-to-one time the most are the people who are not with the church programme. They are not regular in attendance, they are not at the conferences, they are not in small groups, they do not tithe, they turn up late, they don’t listen during the sermon, they are simply not involved. They mistakenly see the role of the pastor as their friend, as someone to get in the pit with them and feel sorry for them. I have had people expect me to find them a job, stop them feeling lonely, even fix their washing machine. But these people are the same people who will not allow me to teach them how win in life, will miss church because they are tired, and “don’t do small groups” as if that dismisses everything.
We need to ensure that we do not let the people determine our job description, we have to let the Word determine that, and our job is not dress up as a sheep and make them like us, our job is to lead people to green pastures and still waters, and prepare a feast for them in the presence of their enemies, and ensure their cup is running over. That’s what you do.
Part of the pastoral calling is a deep love for people. Now I have been pastoring people for a while, sometimes I get into the middle of that. I might tell one of my pastors that such and such is not doing well, or is not ready to lead worship or whatever, and they will defend their sheep with such a passion against any perceived insult.
I understand that, and I talked in my last post about the truth that true pastors would honestly die for their sheep. But what I want to say today to every pastor reading this is never put the people before God. Don’t preach to people without going to God first, don’t pastor people without going to God first, don’t correct people without going to God first. Do not ever promote people without going to God first.
The high priest would go into the Most Holy Place and pour the blood on the mercy seat, then only after that would he come out and sprinkle blood on the people. When you preach you are sprinkling blood on people, sharing with them the power of the blood, the principles of the kingdom, and the goodness of the Lord. Do not sprinkle blood you have not brought into the Most Holy Place – get in with God and spend time with Him! You need a routine that before you minister to the people, you set aside time with the Lord and pray and meditate and get the mind of the Lord.
Don’t just pull a couple of Scriptures together and think that is a sermon. Don’t just copy something you heard Kenneth Copeland or Andrew Wommack say and think you are going to bring life and freedom to people. There will be a blessing because the Word brings a blessing, but you need to find out the exact right message for your people. That takes time with the Lord.
I do not get up to preach to entertain people. I do not get up to preach with an agenda. I am very aware that I standing before many people with many needs. I am very aware that I do not have the wisdom or grace to bring life to everyone. Every time I stand in a pulpit, I am very much like Paul, with fear and trembling. I think of myself like the little boy in the gospels – all I have is five loaves and two fish, what is that for so many, but as I spend time with Jesus and walk with Him and His grace, I find that in His strength and wisdom and glory, the limited food I have is multiplied and everyone in the room is fed.
It’s funny sometimes, I can preach a sermon and I can have ten people tell me that God fed them, that God spoke to them through those messages, that it has changed their life. Then one person will come and say something derogatory for whatever reason. You have to realize that is like someone watching Jesus multiply the loaves and fishes and complain that they don’t like tilapia or that the bread isn’t organic, gluten-free. Every time you hear a sermon from a preacher that has been with Jesus, you are in an atmosphere of multiplication.
That’s why as a pastor, you need to get into that atmosphere in private, just you and the Lord, and the blood – then when you emerge, you sprinkle the blood over people and people are set free, and healed, and saved. It’s awesome.
In other words, what you give people has to be what you have received from the Lord. If you do not spend time with the Lord, you have nothing to say. I preach twice most Sundays, and at least once mid-week every week. I have preached the same sermon twice about ten times, and even then it never ends up the same sermon twice. How can I do that – I have been with the Lord. When we are with the Lord, our feeble bread and fish can feed crowds and still have more left over for tomorrow. Not only that, when we sow that – we will have a harvest of revelation for ourselves! What a deal.
There is much more in the Word, I mean seriously much much more, than any of us no matter who we are have tapped into. So, dig deep and take the time – it’s part of our calling.
Put God before the sheep. Go and spend time with God and do not let the people interrupt that.
I worked the best part of eighteen hours yesterday, answering emails, praying for people, sorting out expenses, sorting out copyright licences. I have just managed to get an hour at the gym today, and came back, and I probably have about ten hours work to go still. I am not saying this for sympathy, I love my job, I love my calling and I love what I do.
But I came home, and someone was complaining about something that was so silly and immature, then immediately I had an email from someone upset they were not allowed to minister in the church (trust me, I did you all a favour by not letting him), and then I heard someone tell me a horrible nasty rumour someone was trying to spread about me!
What a day! I said to my wife: why do we do this job?! It was just a throwaway comment, a joke but as I said it the Lord reminded me of a Scripture. It says this “Jesus began to show his disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and be killed…” (Matthew 16.21). A good shepherd – a good pastor – you will have to lay down your life for the sheep! That’s the truth.
I’m not saying you have to actually take a bullet – that wouldn’t help your church at all, but you have to die to your desires, your wants, your agenda, and pick up your cross and the serve the people God has entrusted you no matter what. There is not a moment where you get to serve yourself and your wants, and if you think otherwise, you will always be disappointed as a pastor!
You need to make sure you spend enough time with the Lord Jesus, the Good Shepherd, that you embrace the same attitude He has, that you learn from Him and His humility and His kindness, and reflect Him to people too immature to see Him in the spirit. Jesus once said “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me” (John 4.24) and that is the place we need to reach as pastors. Your food cannot be a thank you – you may never get one, your food cannot be someone being loyal to you – they might stab you in the back, your food cannot be people understanding you – they won’t, your food cannot be people hearing the Word and growing, because often they won’t. Your only food can be: I did what Jesus told me to do. I did what He called me to do. I followed Jesus. When you reach this point, you catch fire for Jesus and nothing else matters and no one else matters and then you can truly serve people in the right way.
Now when I say die to yourself, I do not mean you exhaust yourself serving people, because then you cannot help anyone. You have to look after yourself. When I started the church, I would never take a day off, I would work non-stop for days, and then normally after about 25-30 days, I would wake up and be utterly unable to get out of bed. The Lord wouldn’t heal me because I wasn’t sick, I was exhausted and had to then take a forced Sabbath. Since then I have grown up and I now get my sabbath right. When its my day of rest, trust me I rest. Pastors, rest! Take your sabbath. Now remember sabbath is only 1 in 7, don’t become those pastors who are never working, I have met them and it’s insane. You know what I mean – you go on their Facebook and you think they have retired. They are always resting and always relaxing.
Listen, it’s not easy being a pastor and laying down your life for the sheep, but there is a grace for it. The calling gives you the grace and wisdom to lay down your life. Jesus Himself set you as a pastor, and He will train you and disciple you. He will put more senior pastors in your life to help you. And when it’s a big struggle, look at Jesus and say “thank you for making me a pastor, and thank you for the grace to deal with this”.
Now, I know that you all as pastors know that as sheep we all know the voice of the good shepherd, and that is absolutely true. But the truth is also that the sheep in your church should know your voice.
Now that starts with you knowing the voice of the Lord. You need to be spending time in the Word, listening to sermons, reading good Christian books, praying in tongues, and being in services and conferences on a regular basis. If you are not doing that, then why on earth would you expect others in your church would even be close to doing anything like that!
Now once you are doing that, your sheep should know your voice. You see an actual shepherd of literal sheep is the number one feeder of his sheep. Because he is the feeder, they learn to trust him so they tune into his voice. That’s how a shepherd becomes the leader of the flock, by being the feeder of the flock. Your job as a pastor is not to control your sheep, it is to feed them. As you feed them over and over, they will tune into your voice and start to follow you. That’s the process of pastoral leader, you feed people until they trust you to take care of them.
Then when someone teaches some strange doctrine, or gives them a strange prophetic word, they will come to you and say, shepherd, is this good food to eat, because they know that you look after them.
Now there are two problems to this idyllic situation. Firstly, some in your church, as we have said previously, are goats. They will not just eat your food, they will eat as much as they can – they will listen to anyone and everyone. They are the people in your church sharing CDs and links to random preachers that are preaching weird things that do not bring life, conspiracy theories, Bible Codes and normally extreme and dangerous teachings such as universalism and inclusionism. They will often be more linked to a Bible College or a ministry than another church, as they find these things more exciting than the mundane consistency of being in a church. They will become little whisperers of other voices in the church, destabilising your ability to lead the flock.
Secondly, there will be those who are offended. They will not trust your voice and they will depending on their personality will either overtly or covertly assault the authority of your voice. The overt assault will be telling people that you are a cult leader, all brain and no heart, more of a teacher than a pastor. The covert and sneaky assault will be “I really love listening to this guy on the radio, here is a link to his website”, “I feel that the church needs to do more in the community” – and much more.
The covert assault will sneak past many people’s radar as an insult or assault because it will often start with “I really like/ love our pastor, but you know he works so hard, why does he travel so much, if I was the pastor I would do more for you” – it’s what has often been called a spirit of Absalom, David’s son who promised everyone a better life if he was made king. Often, because these people are cowards, they will also preface their comments with “I have heard from some people”, “other people are saying” so they do not have to own their negative, critical voices. Another covert assault against your voice is “what the church needs is to catch fire with the Holy Spirit”, and what is meant is we all need a chance to get up and say something, we want more time in worship, but less time hearing the Word, and we want less order. That’s not always the heart behind that kind of comment, but often it comes from an attitude of superiority. Or, one more assault goes like this: “this church was better in the old days, it was more like family, more spiritual or whatever, let’s pray we get back to that”. It could be translated I don’t like growth, structure or new people.
Something I have heard recently and it has happened to others and myself too, is that people will loudly praise others who I know have been rude, immature, and ungodly around me.
Often these people who they are praising are so offended they do not even go to church, and someone will come to me and go “This person (the person who raised his fists to you, the person who tried to divide your family, the person who doesn’t go to church, the person who has lied over and over, the person who stole money from the church, the person who has never given a penny to the church) is such a great Christian, they love this church so much, it’s such a shame they are no longer here”.
That is a powerful assault against the voice of the pastor, making it out as if he is the reason the other people is no longer in the church, it is a misguided idea that when someone leaves a church in rebellion and spite, there are two sides to every story. It means that person is listening to multiple voices and therefore is not being fed as well and will not grow well! And they are undermining your voice by what they are saying.
Now as a pastor these kind of assaults on your voice are not personal, but I know it is sometimes difficult not to take them personally. But that is the first step to victory. What you have to do is not respond or react, but keep feeding the sheep. That’s the way to win. Keep preparing great messages that inspire and challenge your sheep, do not get caught up in endless discussions about this and that. Do not let someone else set the agenda – you go before God and ask the Lord what to preach and preach that. That is the way you get through this. You keep speaking truth and life and keep leading your sheep to green pastures and still waters.
When people realize that you love them, that listening to you leads to growth and victory, they will come your way. Without patronizing people in church, sometimes they are like little children. When your children are immature and silly when they were growing up, you didn’t become a tyrant, you patiently kept feeding them and they grow up and they eventually matured. It’s the same in church, you don’t disown a little child for being childish, you feed them.
Now if you see a wolf, you chase them away, you protect the sheep. But a baby lamb who is a little foolish, feed them. Keep feeding them, keep a sweet heart, don’t get caught up in foolishness yourself, and you will get to the place where you are ministering to people who love you, and more importantly they love the Word, the kingdom, and love serving and helping and walking in victory.
When I am looking for new pastors, one of the qualities and capabilities I look for is the ability to gather. When someone is a true pastor, people gather around them. It’s a part of the gifting on their life. That’s one of the reasons why I love starting potential pastors off as small-group leaders, it is easy to watch how people gather around them.
A big part of being a shepherd is stopping the church from scattering. Scattering is satan’s will for every church. That the sheep stop gathering. And satan doesn’t care if the people stop going to church for a party, out of offense, out of business, even if they stop gathering for Bible College, satan knows that when a church does not gather, the sheep are weak and they are then no match for him.
Zech. 13.7 says that if you strike the shepherd, the sheep will be scattered. Most attacks on pastors are not so much about the pastor, but as satan’s pretext to scatter the sheep and make them vulnerable. When the sheep are scattered, they are vulnerable, they get arrogant, they get foolish ideas, they go off the rails. That’s the issue. Satan is trying his hardest to get sheep separated from the flock. to stop people going to church.
Ezekiel 34.5 says that “they were scattered because there is no shepherd, and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered”. Think about it – they stopped going to church, they became wolf-food. This is the satanic plan that is going into play all over the world. Sheep stop going to church!
Now when the sheep stop going due to offense, due to distractions, sometimes there is nothing you can do. Some sheep will not let you pick them up and bring them back. That’s on them.
But as pastors, we have to make sure we do not act in ways that scatter the flock or allow the flock to be scattered. We need to teach clearly on the importance of regular, consistent church attendance. We need to not compromise on the need for gathering. Jeremiah 23.1 says “woe to the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture”. We have to make sure we are not the ones scattering!
One of the main ways we scatter is ironically by being too controlling. In the 1970s, a group of pastors of networks of churches got together and started something called the shepherding movement. I believe they did it for the best possible reasons, but they moved into a place where they became super-controlling. People could not go on holiday without the pastor’s permission, pastor’s would tell people what to wear and where to live and what jobs to take, they told people who to marry as well. This left the church very immature and it caused a great many people to quit going to church and never come back. I was part of a church in this movement and was told what colour socks to wear! It hurt my wife and I a lot, and I know some other people involved who do not go to church right now. That scattering was caused by the pastor!
The other way we can scatter is by not controlling anything. If you let anyone get up and speak there will be problems. If you never correct anyone, your church will not be a safe place. Recently one of our pastors had to correct a man who was making some women in the church uncomfortable. If he did not do that, trust me, women would start leaving the church, and some would never go to another church again. You have to be the pastor, you have to be the leader.
The key is to control what is in the church, and turn over the things outside of the church over to Jesus. You are in charge of what you are in charge of, and not in charge of what you are not in charge of.
You need to pray for wisdom to know what to control and what not to control. If someone is at home watching someone you know is a false prophet, you can try and persuade them not to, but you really have no control over that. But if they start sharing videos of that around the church, if they start putting them on the church WhatsApp group, you should control that. Your motivation should always be to hold the flock together and lead them forward.
If correcting a person in an issue involves treating them like they are four, if you are telling them what colour socks to wear and when to go on holiday, then that is infantilizing people and stopping them from growing.
Now, if I got up and said everyone in the church must wear red today, that’s controlling. That will scatter people. However, if I say everyone in the worship band must wear red today, that is about the service, you are promoting and platforming those people, and they should be compliant with dressing in a way to maximise what the service looks like. Most people should be able to appreciate the difference. If I tell someone who they can marry, I don’t have that authority. If I tell someone, if you marry an unbeliever, that’s a bad idea, and if you make that choice, you cannot preach in the church going forward or lead worship – I have that authority. Again, both of these actions are from a heart of not being the one to scatter the flock. Selah!
I have been to preach at several gatherings of scattered Christians. Conferences where most people there are Christians that do not go to church, even Bible Colleges where many people do not go to church. When I do, there is always a weakness and a lack of strength in those meetings. There is a victim mentality, a lack of strength, a lack of power, a lack of glory. The reason is they are scattered Christians as the only God sanctioned way to gather is local church. Go to a conference, of course. Go to Bible College, of course. Watch Christian TV, of course. But do any of those things at the expense of local church, and you are scattered. Pastors, remind your people of these things and teach them well.
You have ten thousand instructors in Christ, but you do not have many fathers, for in Jesus Christ I have given birth to you through the gospel. Therefore I beg you to be followers of me (1 Cor. 4.15-16)
Notice there are two different kinds of ministries in this verse: instructors and fathers. Notice there are many, many, many, many, many instructors and very few fathers. Only a father gets to tell people – follow me.
I have learned many Scriptures from many instructors, I am studying the Word all the time. But I have very few people I would call a father. As a pastor, for everyone in your church you are their instructor. but you will not be everyone’s father.
Sadly, the idea of a spiritual father has been abused so much, it is hard to talk about freely, because of the baggage it creates. We had a lady in our church, she had a spiritual father. They never spoke, but she had a certificate that he was her spiritual father, it only cost her $800. That’s insane.
But according to the Scripture above, there is a place for having a spiritual father, someone who is much more than an instructor. You listen to instructors, you follow and copy fathers. I am in actuality the father of the Tree of Life Family, but only some receive me as a father, others do not. If I am received as a father, there is a reward to that that is far greater than if people receive me as an instructor, but people are free to make that choice themselves. As a pastor you are called to be a father to the people in your church, but some will only treat you like an instructor, and that is up to them.
The problem comes when you as a pastor treat people who do not treat you as a father as your sons.
What do I mean by this? Well, there are people who were raised up in Tree of Life as a ministry. I mean without Tree of Life they would not be in ministry. Without me, they would not be in ministry. They were doing nothing when they met me, and now they are ministering and serving and are platformed and recognized. They are birthed in Tree of Life – like Paul I can say “I gave birth to you through good news”. But they do not ask me questions about ministry, they do not go to me for advice, they go to some other pastor, or some travelling preacher. They do not go to Gates of the City, they go to another conference of their own choosing. Now – like I said – that’s up to them. But if I appoint those people as pastors, or even elders, if I promote them, if I treat them as sons but they are not treating me as a father, then Tree of Life Family is going to fall apart.
You can have 10000 instructors, you can go to every conference you want, you can listen to preaching all day, and that will actually make you a better Christian. But you are called to honour your father, and if you are honouring some preacher in America that has not promoted you, loved you, given you opportunities, that does not pay your salary, that does not give you exposure, that has not birthed you, then you are going to end up very confused.
You see if someone in your church honours a travelling speaker above you – then if you promote them, maybe give them a weekly Living Church (House Group, Life Group, Bible study, whatever you call it) to run, then trust me they will end up running it the way that other minister would, not the way you would.
I don’t know my actual biological father, some of you might be in the same place. Some of you might have a stepfather or two, some of you might be adopted, but there is no one who has 10000 fathers in the natural. You can go to school and have 20 teachers, but you cannot go to a family and have 20 fathers. You need to realize this.
How can you as a pastor tell who is treating you as their father?
They listen to you when they don’t have to. They ask you about a sermon you preached three years ago, because they listened to it on the app. They drive 100 miles to see you at a conference because they love you. If they miss a Sunday, they have listened to the message before Tuesday!
They are more excited about you preaching than the guest speaker at the same conference. They are not the person who never asks you anything about ministry, then when a guest speaker comes asks them 100 questions, gets them to pray for them and then brags to you that they got them to pray for them!
They put your revelation first. They won’t be missing Sunday morning because Bible College on Saturday was just too intense. They won’t be at another church to hear some guest speaker. They won’t be giving huge offerings to other ministries and not even tithing to the local church. They will honour you.
Finally, spiritual sons defend you. It’s a wonderful thing to see and experience. But if someone comes at you, they won’t be listening to them, they won’t be trying to find out what the drama is, they just instinctively know that this is my father, and if you come at my father, you come at me.
Recently, there was a couple that came at me, and they still do regular online meetings, during which they have lied about me, mocked me, and even mocked my family. My spiritual sons from the moment that happened stopped listening to that rubbish instantly, they told me instantly, and they defended me. There are people still listen to their online services who still think I am a good instructor and love my preaching and teaching ministry. They are not my sons though, they do not see me as a father. I am just one of ten thousand to them, which is fine as long as I know that.
When Robert Maasbach, my spiritual father, was attacked and lied about by another ministry, I cut off all contact with that minister instantly. I am not playing games, I know family, and I know if I don’t honour my father, I will not live long and strong on the earth. Robert has told me that so many have not been that strong, but our relationship is on a higher level. Why will Robert build his schedule around ministering for me? Sonship. It’s a different relationship on both sides. It doesn’t have to be, and there are many teachers who I love as teachers, but the problem is when it is not on both sides!
All I can do in these situations what Paul did – point out the huge role I have played in their lives and beg them to follow me and not someone else who clearly does not love them.
Pastor, in your church right now, are many who see you as just an instructor. They would change to another church tomorrow if they thought they could find a better instructor than you. They would certainly move if they thought they could get a better deal elsewhere. They perceive church as a college or school, and if they can get better qualified elsewhere, they will go there, because their ambition in life is to get qualified and start making a name for themselves.
But there are also those who see themselves as sons, they perceive church to be family, they know that the way to build their name is to build your name, because in family, it’s the same name. They are not just learners, they are followers. Those are the people you need to concentrate on, develop and raise up as leaders. Not the people who want to pray the way teacher X said, who buy you the shirts of the preachers they want you to look like, and keep posting you the videos of the preachers they want you to sound like.
Selah!
PS. Paul also said “follow me, as I follow Christ” (1 Cor. 11.1). You should be loyal to your spiritual fathers, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump off a cliff if they do. One of my spiritual fathers when I was a new Christian, the man who taught me to cast out demons and flow in the gifts, committed sexual immorality so bad he was arrested for it. I still have fond memories and I am still grateful for what he taught me, he for a season was my father, but I am not going to follow him to jail you understand! To not have the freedom to back off when someone does something crazy is not godly. I am not talking about doing something slightly differently from how you would, in those cases, shut up and learn something, I am talking about gross sin and false doctrine.
Inspiring and Challenging Dreamers 