Inspiring and Challenging Dreamers

Life is comprised of decisions.  Successful people are people who have made good decisions.  Unsuccessful people are people who have made bad decisions.

You are where you are today because of the decisions you have made.  If your life is a mess, it is because you have made poor decisions.

As leaders, don’t blame the people you lead for the results you are getting.  Those results are the fruit of the decisions you made.  The better decisions you make, the more that you will see your leadership skills improve.

To walk into the destiny God has for you, to enjoy life, to get out of debt, to improve your health, to improve your marriage – you need to make good decisions.

Now there are two problems with making good decisions:

1.  Knowing what decision to make
2. Making the right decision when we know what it is

Now, I know people who are in the first realm – they genuinely don’t know what to do.  Sorry if that is you, but I’m not writing this post to help you.  My advice is to pray to God for wisdom (James 1.5) and to seek counsel.  But I have found more people are in the second boat – they know what is the right thing to do, but they don’t make right decisions.

If you are 100lb overweight, then you are not ignorant of what you need to do to improve the quality of your life – eat less, eat right, exercise more.  If you and your wife are constantly rowing, then you don’t need counsel to know act with kindness, forgive, be romantic, show grace.  If you are failing financially, you need to budget effectively, long term plan, find extra work, find better work.  None of these things are obscure – in fact, the solution to most problems is normally painstakingly obvious.

So what we need to do as leaders is be in a position to help people who know what to do but don’t seem to want to do it.  People normally blame these sort of things on willpower – I wanted to not eat the extra slice of cake, but I didn’t have the willpower; I tried being nice to my husband, but I didn’t have the willpower, I wanted to get up and run but I didn’t have the willpower, I know I didn’t need another pair of shoes but I didn’t have the willpower.

As leaders as well, we often blame our bad decisions on a lack of willpower.  I didn’t have the mental strength to confront person X when they interrupted the meeting; I didn’t have the willpower to deal with such and such head on.

Let me set you free today – these decisions have absolutely nothing to do with willpower.   Trying to summon up mental strength to do something difficult will always fail.  You can’t give up smoking that way, you can’t give up biscuits that way, you cannot give up spineless leadership that way either!

These decisions are not based on willpower but on priorities.  Our priorities determine our decisions, not our willpower.

If you want to weigh less, then weighing less has to become a higher priority than eating the cake.  If you want to give up smoking, all the benefits of giving up smoking have to become more of a priority than that next cigarette.  If you want to confront someone who is destroying your business or church through their attitudes and through their negativity and criticism, then a church or business free from internal competition and strife needs to be a higher priority than keeping someone around who just adds to your headcount or whatever other benefit they bring.

The problem isn’t willpower.  It’s priorities.  People who miss church when the message was going to set them free and help them, so they could watch the football. Their problem isn’t willpower, it’s wrong priorities.  We are one day away from our annual summer conference and some people are telling me: well, I might be there.

That’s not a function of willpower, but of priorities.  The conference isn’t that important to them.  There is no might about being at work, about going out with their friends, about their hobbies and interested – but there is a maybe about God’s Word because of their priorities.

How do we get our lives on track to where they need to be?  We need to determine and work out our personal priorities.  Somewhere high should be the Word of God, our relationship with God and local church – the only thing on earth being built by Jesus himself.  In terms of our life, we need to work out our priorities by realizing who God has designed us to be and what we are doing in our future.  God doesn’t want you to die at 55, and nor do you – so realizing that will make exercising and quitting smoking a priority in your life.

We need to think forward to develop good priorities, the further forward we can think and dream, the more potent our priorities become and the better our decisions become.

So take some time today to consider and imagine where you want to be next year, next five years, next ten years, next twenty years.  Let that image determine and set your priorities.

And if you need three months’ worth of spiritual growth in four days, turn up tomorrow at Heal the Nations (www.healthenations.net) and have a great four days with us listening to the best grace teachers in the United Kingdom.

Both the baker and the cupbearer had displeased their King, their patron and employer. They had both failed to meet his expectations in such a severe way that the only possibility he had was to throw them both in jail.

Yet, after time to cool down and reflect, the Pharoah killed the baker and restored the cupbearer to his original place.

Why such a radical difference of end result for these two men? Is it possible that the difference stems from their different roles.

A baker has one job… To ensure that their employer gets fresh, healthy food.

A cupbearer had one job… To ensure that their employer gets fresh, healthy food.

But they do the job in very different ways. A baker makes the food and concentrates on the food. A cupbearer eats the food before the king and shows the king the personal effect of the food on his life before passing the food onto the king.

Many pastors and leaders provide good food for their people. They are great feeders, preaching great messages, selecting great teachers, using great curriculums. They are bakers.

But if that is all you are, if you mess up – and one day you will, people will discard you, you will be dead to them.

But if you eat the food yourself, in front of the people. If they see you working things out too, if you do not just merely share your food and teaching, but share your life, and take the risk out of dinner for them. Well, if you do these things they may get mad at you every so often, but they will allow you back into your life.

It’s actually really easy to get good food in the body of Christ today, in fact I’d dare say there is too much teaching available, certainly you could never listen to it all or give it all due care and attention. It’s easy to find another baker.

It’s hard to find someone who will share their lives with you, take risks for you, fellowship with you, and let you see the effects of your dinner on them before you even get near it. You don’t throw people like that under a bus.

Leaders, pastors – don’t just feed your people, tend to them. It is a key to longevity.

One of the things that happens a lot is that people as Christians are told “judge not”.  It’s like a mantra.  The whole world has embraced it now – we must not judge.

Now if you take that to logical extremes it’s absurd!  There are two pieces of meat, one is rotten and smells, the other is awesome looking.  Don’t judge, eat both of them!  No – you would never do that.  We all make judgments when we buy clothes, buy food, eat food, buy a new house, a new car.  We have to judge to make decisions.  All judging is is simply looking at the evidence and making a preference or decision.

Now, it is clear from the Bible that there are times we are supposed to judge, and times we are not supposed to judge.

In Matthew 7.1-5. Jesus says don’t judge the speck in someone else’s eye when we have a plank in our eye.

So there is one situation is when it is wrong to judge – when what is going on in your life is worse than what is going on in their life.  It’s strange that when our lives are a mess we immediately want to rip someone else’s life apart to make ourselves feel better.  I’ve met cocaine addicts who feel good about themselves because “at least it’s not heroin”.  We fail so we try and pull people down with us.  We try and blow other people’s candles out to make our light shine brighter.

It’s amazing how as a pastor I can be with a couple whose marriage is falling apart, they are on the verge of divorce, he is secretly drinking, she is overeating and they are both depressed.  Yet, they will storm out of the church because they disagreed with some minor side point I made on the end-times!  No – when you have a plank in your eye and you need help, that’s when you don’t judge.  You don’t go to criticize, you go to get a lifeline.

If you are drowning, don’t refuse the lifeline because the person throwing it is smoking, or drinking, or black, or white, or too old, or too young, or all the other stupid reasons we discriminate against people.  You need the lifeline – you have a plank in your eye.  If you need help, get it.  Don’t leave church over minutia when church is helping put your life back together.

It has been really hard for me recently, as a few people have stopped attending our church and I saw their Facebook pages – not filled with hatred for the church, but just missing life.  Where they used to talk about love, about victory, about joy, about healings and miracles they were seeing – now it’s just life.  Here’s what is going on a work today, here is my lunch.  Whatever.  It’s just missing that life.  They left church because they made a judgement on a speck, when they need someone to help remove the plank from their eye.  They ran away from our lifeline because we didn’t meet their requirements but they are drowning.  I only hope they find someone else and by then are so desperate they won’t care that the next church has also got a speck or two!

When you have a plank in your eye, stop looking for specks, stop looking for reasons to judge and get annoyed, and get the help you need.

It’s not a surprise to people who know me that I love the new Marvel films.  Me and my boys were in the cinema watching Age of Ultron as it came out 1 minute past midnight!

Now as a film, it’s about a team of heroes who are changing the world – but they are still learning themselves.  Here are seven leadership lessons from the film (watch out, there may be spoilers ahead!)

1. Celebrate the Victories

The film starts right in the middle of the action with the Avengers taking down a Hydra base.  When they have completed their mission successfully, it’s right back to Stark Tower to party and celebrate.  Celebrating victories is important – especially when the long-term mission is an ongoing task.  So, in church life you might have a vision for a 3000-strong church – celebrate the day you make 50, 100, 200, 500.  Celebrate the healing, celebrate the marriage that is saved, celebrate each success.

It is a tribute to Josh Weadon’s story telling that I could have just watched the Avengers party for the whole film, the characters and the way they interacted was priceless.  If you are running a team – it cannot just be about work.  Yes good leadership must always be about results but it must equally be about relationships too – and one of the best ways to build healthy relationships is to celebrate together.

2. Language!

There is a scene where Tony Stark / Iron Man lets loose with a four-letter word, and Captain America – raised in the 1930s – calls him on it with the one word “Language!”.  It then becomes a running joke in the film, but the point is still made. Profanity is invariably unnecessary.  We are seeing a change in this nation, and in the Western world, where it is seen as cool to swear.  Pastors are swearing from the pulpits to charge up a message and to “wake their church up”.  In the short term it may have that positive effect, but the long terms effects will negative.  You cheapen something by adding profanity to it, you are not adding something of value.

3. Secrecy is trouble

The protagonist of the film, Ultron, is created by Tony Stark.  In secret.  Telling only Bruce Banner / the Hulk, Tony starts and finishes his project without the awareness of the rest of the team.  His intentions were good – but his personality blinded him from seeing any ramifications from his actions.

Listen carefully. whenever you are doing something in secret from the team, there is a potential of danger.  That’s why we have teams.  That’s why we function better with other people around us.  You don’t have to tell everyone everything, but you do have to tell someone.  Make sure you have someones around you!  And don’t keep secrets from them!

4. Learn to think 3-dimensionally.

Sometimes things go right, sometimes they go amazingly right, sometimes things go wrong.  If you learn to think like that, then you can be prepared.  The Scarlet Witch at one point in the film touches the Hulk and sends him on a rampage throughout the city.  But Tony Stark has been thinking about different possibilities, and has a Hulkbuster suit of armour ready for this kind of situation.

I’m not saying wallow in the problems, think negatively or assume failure.  I’m just saying having a back up plan is never a bad idea and is good leadership.

5. Disagreement is not Dissolution

The Avengers have a bit of a barney in this film.  When everyone finds out Tony Stark invented the bad guy, and why, there is a definite argument.  The Avengers have different ideas, different perspectives, different philosophies.  But the disagreement in the team is not the dissolution of the team.  A disagreement on how to raise your children is not the end of your marriage.

A disagreement on how church should be run does not mean you throw your dummy out of the pram, walk out the door and are never seen again.  A disagreement on the way the team is run, or who is promoted, should not mean the team is ripped apart.

The Avengers all had this – they were able to look at the big picture and work out the real goal.  Their real goal was to save the world, which meant they in humility could lay down their agendas, their plans, their goals and their philosophies to get the job done.  The church in this nation desperately needs some people like this.  Save us from deacon’s meetings where there is a 3 hour argument on the colour of the new church carpet, elders who only tithe if they are leading worship, people who hold churches to ransom because they can’t see the big picture.  Like the Avengers, the church is here to save the world.  Let’s get with the bigger picture and work together!

6. Not Everyone will Appreciate You

In one scene, the city is in danger, so Iron Man summons an army of robots to help defend the people and save them.  The reaction was not one of appreciation, rather the people attacked the Iron Legion and told them to go away.

I am sure every leader has been in a similar situation (barring the robots!) – you offer help, you know you can help, you have the resources to help – but it just isn’t appreciated, it isn’t welcome.  That’s just how it is sadly, and all you can do is shake the dust off your feet and move on.  You cannot help people who don’t think they have a problem, you cannot help people who think their problem is unsolvable, and you cannot help people who think you are their problem.  Invest your energy on those you can help, and don’t stay awake all night about those you reject your help and reject you.

7. “Our Job is If”

Tony Stark gives in my mind the finest quote in the whole film: “our job is if”.  As leaders our job is “if”.  What if.  We need to be the dreamers of impossible dreams, those who see things differently.

The truth is the world is a mess.  We can’t solve all the problems, but there are some problems we can solve.  We have to take the time to question, reflect and challenge the way things have always been done.  In my last post, I said that leaders have to reflect everyday.  We have to ask the big questions. We have to consider and bring out the “if”

If things could be different

If we could inspire people on a bigger scale

If we could create something worth owning and worth fighting for

If we could do church as it’s meant to be done, not how it’s always been done

If we could lay down our agendas and genuinely love and support one another

If we could stop sweeping stuff under the carpet and deal with it

If we could overcome this obstacle.

Take some time today to figure out and dream some IFs.  Our job is if.

It’s what you do daily that changes your life, not what you do fanatically and intensely.  It’s consistency that is the key to change.

These are five habits that if you do them daily, you will become a great leader.

5. Pray

Let’s face it – you don’t have the wisdom and strength in yourself to do what you are doing.  But the Lord is your wisdom and your strength.  Learn how to roll your cares onto Him, learn how to fellowship with Him, learn how to flow with Him.

Learn how to allow Him to lead you through peace and joy to set your priorities the right way.  Let Him show you the obstacles ahead that you know nothing about.

4. Give

A generous spirit is the most powerful force on the planet.  There is something amazing and life changing about being generous.  We live in a culture of stinginess, of self-serving and queue-jumping.  Learn to give – give time, give space, give financially.  Every day you should be giving and investing.  Look at those you are developing – what can you give them today?  Sometimes a simple email is life changing for someone.  Every day what can you give?

3. Honour

What you honour is what will move towards you, what you dishonour is what will move away from you.  Learn to honour what you want and who you need in your life.  Honour those who support you – tell them thank you, don’t treat them like commodities but like people.  Honour those who help you and lift you up – tell them thank you.  Honour your wife, your children, your friends.  Honour God’s Word, honour things that bring you happiness and health.

2. Read

Leaders are readers.  It really is that simple.  You should be reading books on leadership, books on your field, books on thinking, books on the Bible.  All sorts of books.  Develop a habit of reading daily.  The TV is no substitute for reading.

When Paul was in prison, he called for Mark to bring him his books.  Paul, even in jail, was still a reader.  That’s a good daily habit to have.

1. Reflect

We build systems, we build organizations.  We do things because they work, because they fit us, because of a host of reasons.  Sometimes we are doing things in a way that is less than optimal just because we haven’t thought things through.

Spend time daily reflected about what you are doing.  What systems do you have in place for your leading – are they working?  What parts of your day are taking too long?  What could be done differently?

Learn to dream, to reflect on what has gone before and consider what could be ahead.  Do this daily, make course corrections every day.  When they flew the first rocket to the moon, they had to correct the course every half hour.  To fly your life into your dreams, you have to constantly make course corrections.

Jeremy Clarkson – leadership lessons we can learn

1. Your gift and talent is what brings you promotion and success.

2. A lack of restraint will cost you what your gifting will bring you.

3. A loyal group of people who perceive you as being loyal to them, and being their voice in life will delay that loss, but not indefinitely.

4. Never believe your own press reports – you are only a success as part of a team and treat your team as precious or you will lose your success.

5. You will get a second chance to bounce back. But it will be hard work.

6. There are some behaviours which can negate a million signatures of support.

7. Never make decisions hungry.

The next requirement for an elder, as given in 1 Tim. 3.3, is “not given to filthy lucre”.  Lucre is any money gained through religious manipulation.  To be honest, it’s a lot easier for a pastor to do this and fall for this than an elder, and I am sure you have heard horror stories of churches raising money through fear and guilt.  But it can happen in a Living Church (home group, house group) with an elder (house group leader).

If the elder leads prayer times with “hey, let’s all pray for me, I need £300 to get a new washing machine” that sort of thing can put pressure on younger Christians to take care of that need.  It should also go without saying that elders should not ask for money from people in their groups!   Another issue that sometimes happens is someone, especially with some of the pyramid schemes, will use their Living Church to sell product – do not do that!  The Living Church is for meeting, magnifying, message and ministry – it is not for make up and mumbo jumbo and so on!  Keep your business and Living Church separate!

Listen – if you become an elder for a short cut to riches, you have made the wrong choice!  In fact, you might be worse off (certainly printer ink becomes a new ongoing expense!).  We become elders to serve and love people, to make disciples and to invest our lives in the kingdom.  We look to God for financial increase, not our role in the church!

The next requirement for an elder in 1 Tim. 3.3 is “no striker”.  This is not really referring to physical fighting – though if someone is getting into actual fights I would recommend you stand them down as an elder.

What it is referring to is the kind of person who is always spoiling for an argument.  The kind of person who is happy in conflict.  Look, conflict will always come.  Just teaching the truth of the Bible is controversial enough for most Christians!

But we should never be those gunning for a fight.

Sometimes what we teach at the Tree of Life cuts against a number of religious, denominational and cultural traditions.  We bring the Word of God in a way that may shock someone or kill a sacred cow or two.  But we should never, ever be the people gunning for a fight – “I’ll show them, I’ll get my grace guns out and shoot their legalism right down”.  No – we should never be that person.

Beware of the person who always has to take a contradictory view to everyone else.  The one who always sticks out.  Charismatics might label him or her a prophet or prophetess, but it’s more likely they are just carnal and divisive and spoiling for a fight.  Don’t promote them into your leadership team, you want leadership without drama.  You can’t stop drama in the church, but you can keep it out of your leadership team.

People who have the unhealthy need to always be right are not people who you can trust with the souls of others.

This blog is part of our leadership development, something that comes under the heading “Gates of the City”.  We have a leadership academy and an annual leadership conference.

This post is just to invite you to our annual conference this March 19th-21st.  All are welcome – we will make a leader out of you!

Please click on http://www.gatesofthecity.net to register or ask questions.  This is going to be life changing!

The first requirement for elders given in 1 Timothy 3.3 is that they are not given to wine.  Now those of you who follow this series will know that we have already found out in 1 Timothy 3.2 that elders should not be drunk and should be sober, so is Paul repeating himself?

Well, it could be that as sobriety is a very important character trait for elders and leaders.  However, if we look at the Greek word that is translated “given to wine” here it is “paroions” which comes from two words “para” and “oinos”.  Para means given to, and “oinos” is the Greek word for wine.

So you can see why the translators would translate this word “given to wine”, it is what it literally means.  However, the origin of a word cannot always be used to tell you what it means, and the components of a word cannot always tell you what it means (for example a butterfly is not butter or a fly!).

So, by digging into the Greek culture that Paul was immersed in and writing to, we find out that this one word “paroinos” was used firstly to describe people who got drunk a great deal.  Then its usage came to mean the kind of drunk who was a fighter.  You know some people get drunk and sad, others get drunk and glad, others get drunk and mad.  Well, paroinos became the word people used for those who get drunk and mad – those who would fight at the drop of a hat, those who would fight battles over nothing, over imagined slights; those who would get involved in battles that were none of their business.  Eventually over time the word was used for people who were always angry and always ready to fight, whether or not wine was the cause of this aggression and rage.  It would describe the men who would physically abuse their wives, it would describe the men who were always fighting and brawling; in inappropriate places for inappropriate reasons.  It was particularly used for men who didn’t have a high opinion of women as well.

And this is vital: don’t appoint a brawler to your leadership team.  You may think that you can work around it – you can’t!  These guidelines are given to Timothy for a reason – if you appoint people who are brawlers it won’t work.

And it doesn’t have to be physically fighting.  You know the kind of people who are always at the centre of every drama, are always quick to give their opinion on anything, who want to challenge everything and anything.  The problem with criticizing everything is that when you do have a valid criticism no one listens.  You do not want a leadership team where people are afraid to speak because they know the same person is going to fight them on their opinion.  You do not want a leadership team where there is drama.  You cannot keep drama out of a church – a healthy church should be adding new people, inspiring people and challenging people – so it inherently creates drama.  But you can keep drama out of your leadership team by refusing to appoint brawlers.

And don’t appoint sexists to your leadership team – of the male or female kind.  If someone is critical of people just because of their gender (or race or nationality) then that kind of bias will not lead to healthy leadership teams or healthy leadership.